KLai_R116's Xanga

Well...It's Not Quite Rocket Surgery

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 14:43:52 GMT

So while I was taking my lunch break the other day I happened to overhear the topic of a talk show that was playing on TV in the same room: "Sure steps to getting pregnant." I didn't realize people needed to go on TV to learn how to get pregnant. From what I've seen in the hospital, it doesn't even really take much more than the right parts and some semblance of stupidity to figure out how that works. It's good that God made things simple like that, or else we'd never have reproduced.

Online dating...fact or fiction?

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 01:41:23 GMT

Now before you all start pouring judgment and condemnation on me, I want to preface my post with the following disclaimer: I come up with really weird and random stuff when I start getting curious (which I probably should have mentioned in yesterday's post).

While I was on Facebook, I noticed an ad for a Christian singles dating website and out of curiosity I clicked the link. Stupid me. Not really because I got sucked into the realm of online dating, but because after about 15 seconds of reading through some of these bios, I suddenly had this scary thought - what if I happened to stumble across the profile of someone I knew in real life? Wouldn't that be horribly embarrassing?

I mean, these profiles are pretty sophisticated as far as letting you search for just the right type of guy or gal you're looking for - you can sort by location, age, what type of relationship they're interested in, and even their "Christian Faith" which indicates the level of seriousness they consider God to mean to them.And of course, they have those general survey "quick get to know" sorts of questions, like favorite pet and the name of your first grade teacher. Then there are short-answer types of questions, like:

Describe the type of relationship you are looking for. What qualities would you like in this relationship or person? Are you seeking a particular age range?
Describe a little of your personality and character traits. (Are you funny, laid back, more serious, open, shy, etc.?)
Describe your Christian faith. Where are you at and what are your goals? What Scripture verses are important to you?
What would be the perfect setting for a first meeting with a new friend or date? Describe it
What are your favorite activities? (Including sports, leisure, artistic/musical, etc.)
Describe your current occupation. Do you like what you do? What is your dream job?
Where did you go to school (i.e. high school or college/university, etc.)? What did you study? Did you like it? Would you like to do more?
What are some of your personal goals in life?
How did your previous relationship end and what positive lessons have you learned which will help you succeed in future relationships?
Where were you born? Have you ever traveled? If so, where? What is your ideal adventure?

I don't really have a point to this post. But I noticed that there were several people on this list were students at OU or working in a hospital or went to a small school where I have friends. I guess it's just kinda creepy to think that this sort of information's out there. I mean, what if I happened to meet one of these people in real life? This might be my thought process: "hey, that girl seems really familiar...where have I seen her...oh, on that Christian dating website!" It's not like that would be a good ice-breaker either.

I found my point. It was sticking out of my ear. Ouch. Anyway, my point is that online dating services are kind of a lose-lose situation if you have a life apart from the internet. As a concerned citizen, I will lead the charge in not giving in to these marketing testimonials. And sorry, ChristianCafe, that will probably be the last time I visit. And to my online sweethearts Diane, Jennifer, Kelly, and Sue, I hope I never see you in person, because if I do I just might avoid you.

7 Random/Weird Things Meme

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:21:57 GMT

Ronnica tagged me, so I'm doing this for her.

Rules:

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share seven random or weird things about yourself.
Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So here it goes, seven random/weird things about me:

I don't like chocolate. I tolerate it at best. For some reason I don't mind chocolate chip cookies, and I like eating a little bit of milk or dark chocolate from time to time. And German chocolate is real chocolate, which I can eat anytime. But brownies, chocolate cake, chocolate milk, chocolate ice cream, etc. - I can't stand it but I'll eat it to be polite.
I'm almost a doctor, but I have a degree in computer science and play 4 musical instruments well. What can I say, I have very varied tastes.
I didn't start drinking root beer until I was in medical school. And if it wasn't for Henry Weinhard's Root Beer, I may never have started drinking.
I like watching some chick flicks. I want to emphasize the word some because there are plenty of chick flicks out there that are really smutty, and I just don't really want to have that going on in my head. However, a quality chick flick is good when I just want to turn my brain off.
My taste in music consists of Christian worship, classical music, and Nickel Creek. I guess you could throw in The Hush Sound if you wanted. But I don't really listen to anything else.
I can come up with puns for almost any situation or subject.

I've read Pride and Prejudice...and Redeeming Love. Enough said.

I'm going to break the rules and not tag anyone...mostly because no one reads my blog anymore! But, if I were to tag people, I'd tag:

Holly
Katie
Liz
Kristina
Brandon
Emily
Stefanie (if she still had a blog!)

Worthless

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 16:35:16 GMT

This morning I came across this thought: We become what we think about. It triggered some other thoughts, as I was cycling through the neighborhood. I've heard and read about how important it is to have good character. What we do is born out of our character, and yet we can still profess to believe or think one thing and do something else. In fact, the disconnect between our thoughts and our actions can reach the point where we don't even realize that we're communicating with our actions the very opposite of what we say. So the way I see it, there's something flawed in the connection between our character and our actions.

Experientially, I'd say that I do this on a fairly regular basis. While I desire to live a consistent and sincere life, I often delude myself into thinking one way yet doing something completely different. Since I started medical school, I've grown weary and doubtful of the importance of having good character. What good is character when it's not who we are, but what we do that defines who we are to others? What good is our character when every significant action we take is dissected and judged, and when even the best of intentions are taken as evil intent? While it sounds all nice and pious to say that our flesh can get the better of us, or that we're covered by grace, how does that really affect us?

It's easy to get caught up in doing the "Christian thing" - whether that be going to church, or getting involved somehow, or even the "essentials" of praying and reading the Bible. But when it comes to making those hard choices, when it comes to living each day, those things, the "stuff" as it were, mean absolutely nothing. It's not so easy to live in the haven of the culture when every day you're confronted with the reality that you don't have what it takes, that you are worthless, that even your best efforts aren't good enough, that you may think that you mean well, but in reality you've got evil designs. And I do say reality, because there is absolutely nothing that any of us can do or be to bring about anything good in this world. Our best inventions fail. What was shiny new has rusted and rotted away. Our brilliant idea has passed on and been replaced with a new brilliant idea. The things that seemed so hopeful and exciting last month have turned into ash in our mouths.

And that's the reality of life. Time marches forward and shows no mercy to those who want to hang onto the coattails of the past. When I get the chance to take a step back and look at my life, I am disturbed by the frequency at which I do that. What good is my character if every move I make ends up leading to disaster? What good is my character if my actions are judged to be insincere, or malicious by the very people I'm wanting to serve and care for? My conclusion: my character is worthless.

Yes, it's worthless, just like everything else in my life, because anything and everything that I do has absolutely no meaning. And that's the truth - I need to let go of these grand thoughts that what I do is going to make a difference, that who I am is something worthwhile, because who really cares? In the grand scheme of eternity, people's opinions have no power. Reputation and character aren't going to prove to be anything worth holding onto. Even our accomplishments, the amazing things that we've done to better life around us, that will be forgotten when we fall to the crushing weight of time. We are so insignificant.

And that's the great paradox of this thing that Christians call the Gospel. It's the truth that swallows up the other truth - it doesn't deny that we are insignificant, it just gives the second part to the story. We are insignificant beings made significant by the only independently significant being - God Almighty. So as painful and lonesome as it may be to realize how insignificant and worthless I am on my own, it also brings me to the awareness that I need God to work completely within me.

I was thinking about this yesterday - as I was driving back to Norman, I was reviewing 1 Corinthians 13. At the beginning of the passage, I paused over these thoughts: "I am nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." "I am nothing." "I gain nothing." All of these had the conditional before them - "but have not love." In those three verses Paul completely trashes doing the "right" things out of a motivation apart from love. In fact, apart from love, I can't do anything. While Paul describes love in the next verses, a thought took me back to my childhood. The reason why I became a Christian was because I realized that on my own I had no capacity to truly love people. And even now, 19 years after I first surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, I find myself relearning that lesson.

So yeah, I've made enough mistakes in the last few years to make every single one of my friends hate me for life. In fact, there are times I wonder if that's why they do some of the things they do. And I've done enough things to tarnish my reputation and to soil anyone's perception of my character - to the point where I probably will carry the mark of Cain around wherever I go. But I suppose none of that matters, really. Even if every person knew of my dumb choices, none of that matters.

It's Been A While...

Fri, 04 May 2007 15:17:08 GMT

The color scheme is atrocious, my brain's shrunk, and we haven't had anything to eat except maggoty meat for three stinkin' days. I wish summer were here, for lots of reasons. Firstly, I'm tired of studying day in and day out - I enjoy the studying, but when there's not even hope of being able to relax, truly relax, until it's all over on June 8, it's kinda disappointing. Secondly, I want a fresh start on my life. This season's gone on for so long already. It's getting hard to see what life might be like in a different season. If things continue on as they are (a faulty assumption, I know), I'm going to have to make some drastic changes to my life. One of them might involve shaving my eyebrows, I don't know. Finally, I guess I want summer to be here because there have been far too many frustrations associated with this semester. It's that whole delayed gratification thing.

In this season, in this semester, everything has pointed to waiting. But hope of actually seeing my desires fulfilled is dying. Proverbs 13:12 puts it this way: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." This semester has severely tested my patience in ways I am only beginning to understand, and I can only pray that some of my desires will be fulfilled soon. One of those desires is to be applying the things I've learned in the clinic. I remember back at the beginning of medical school most of my classmates were already really looking forward to 3rd and 4th years, while I was still trying to enjoy learning what was there. But now I'm just reviewing everything I've learned so far (not enough), and I'm longing for the day when I'll be able to apply that knowledge to something. How much longer must I wait? "We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in You." (Psalm 33:20-22).

When Silence Falls

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 03:04:01 GMT

I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
When hope is lost I'll call You Savior
When pain surrounds I'll call You Healer
When silence falls You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus, praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
When hope is lost I'll call You Savior
When pain surrounds I'll call You Healer
When silence falls You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My Defender forevermore
When hope is lost I'll call You Savior
When pain surrounds I'll call You Healer
When silence falls You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus, praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing
When hope is lost I'll call You Savior
When pain surrounds I'll call You Healer
When silence falls You'll be the song within my heart

When the laughter fails to comfort
When my heart aches, Lord are You there?
When confusion is all around me
And the darkness is my closest friend
Still I will praise You, Jesus praise You

====================================

As I was driving to school this morning, I was singing praises to God, reminded by all of the good things He has done in my life. When my CD player got to this song, I was struck by the depth of passion the lyrics reflected. God's led me through a season of incredible blessing. It's an exciting time in my life, full of joys and intimacy with the King of my heart.

But my life hasn't always been one of joy and peace. Those times have come out of some of the darkest, loneliest seasons of my life. This song resonates with my heart, because I remember clinging to Jesus during the times when I've felt most desolate and confused.

My good friend Kristen and I were talking about some of this stuff last night as well. She found an awesome passage in Habakkuk 3 and put some music to it. Its essence shouts out, no matter what happens, I choose to be rejoice in the Lord, and I choose to be joyful in God, my Savior. That song has blessed me and encouraged me in the times when I've been ungrateful, complaining, and discouraged.

The above song, When The Tears Fall, has the same flavor as Kristen's song. Only God can complete us, and meet all of our needs. Do I dare praise God when it seems like all is turned against me? Will I praise Him when heaven is silent, though I cry out and the tears fall? The Psalms are filled with verse after verse that worshippers have cried to their Lover. These people know God intimately. They have a desperate desire to know God more. May we all have that as our sole passion.

====================================

I’ve been searching for a new song
That would speak to the depths of my soul
Memories of an intimate yesterday
Aren’t enough to make me feel whole

I’m hungry for a new revelation
A fresh sensation, a word from You
You tantalize me, I reach out, longing
And then You meet me, and make me new
Come make me new

Who is like You, full of mercy
Full of power and incomparable might
You’re my fortress, in You I am fearless
Yet I need You to give me new sight

When The Tears Fall
Tim Hughes
© 2003 Thankyou Music

Make Me New
Kevin Lai
© 2005 Kevin Lai

Chugging Along (adapted from K-Lai.com)

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 20:40:34 GMT

My good friend Brian Clifton bought me a case of Henry Weinhard's Vanilla Cream Soda when he came back to Norman for the school year.

Henry's are reputed to be of the highest quality root beer and cream soda (though my roommates assert that good ol' Sprecher is up to the challenge). This reputation for high quality drinkerage is demonstrated by the grand prize given at the Men's Fellowship each year at Glorieta.

So why do I talk about such delectable delights? Well, my first semester of medical school is rapidly nearing its denouement (as if five weeks was close). When I first received my 6-pack of Henry's, I decided that, since Henry's was so highly treasured, I needed to save these drinks for special occasions. The first was my first day of medical school. The second was consumed after the first test block of medical school. The third is reserved for the completion of my first semester, and another is reserved for the completion of my first year.

However, this leaves two bottles of Henry Weinhard's wonderful cream soda for other occasions. For what should they be consumed? When should I pop the cap and drink down 12 fluid ounces of carbonated sweetness? Let me know what you think.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:21:24 GMT

It's updated! Now you can go to http://www.k-lai.com for everything you want to know about what's going on with my life. Check it out!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 18:02:35 GMT

I doubt many people read this anymore, but since my k-lai.com website is devoted to Project Impact updates, I figured I'll post my personal thoughts here.

I was just reading Sarah Dudley's profile on Facebook, remembering all of the funny quotes they had up on their board, and I got to missing Tom.

Tom's been one of my best friends since freshman year, when we both went "Walkering" up on Walker 10E (during the days of the Black Hole). We'd go visit Amy Van Dyck, Beth (Bradford) Corcoran, and Susanne Scott in 1028E, then go over to see Dana Kermanian, Katherine Haynie, and Veronica Vicencio in 1008E. Those were great times.

Anyways, the reason why I bring all of this up is that Tom and I have shared so much of college together. Hanging out all the time, doing stuff together, and finally rooming together this past year. We've had our shares of ups and downs; we'd get mad at each other for apparent reason, then be okay for no apparent reason. It was great.

So why this whole post on my good friend Tom? Well, he's currently out on the front lines, and so I figured it was a good opportunity to remember our friendship and yarp for him.

Okay, I'm done.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Fri, 27 May 2005 16:27:39 GMT

For those of you who are wondering why I'm not posting on my Xanga any more, it's because I'm using my new web site (http://www.k-lai.com) as my blog for the summer! It's possible that I will use that site after Project Impact's over too! At any rate, check it out!